


I want you

by BabyStray (Lexine)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan-centric, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:21:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28096848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexine/pseuds/BabyStray
Summary: Felix was touchy and clingy, everyone knew that. He and Chan had a very close friendship and Felix wasn’t shy to say whatever came to his mind. That included saying “I want you” to Chan when he asked what did he want. Felix always said it as a joke, as a friend, and Chan knew it.Only, at some point Chan started to wish Felix meant it.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 18
Kudos: 192





	I want you

**Author's Note:**

> Heya~ this is soft 🥺 . I’ve never in my entire life escaped writing a rated fic so I’m impressed his actually exists. I hope you enjoy it :3
> 
> My sincerest thank you to my friend Shinri for the beta work. You’re the best 💜 
> 
> Inspiration: Chan’s Room Ep.84 (Vlive), in which he said that Felix always says “I want you” when he asks what he wants. I found it so cute I couldn’t handle it~ 🥺

One of the beauties of friendship is being able to share moments share moments of laughter and memories, but also their inner demons, like insecurities and fears. Sharing is a major part of what friendships are.

His relationship with Felix practically revolves around it. Some things he’d only ever share with Felix because of how accepting and non-judgmental he can be; it’s no wonder people call him sunshine. Chan has yet to meet someone so loving, kind and straightforward as Felix. They fit together in a way he’s sure it’s quite rare and he’s so grateful for having him in his life. Of course he loves his other friends, but he feels Felix is something like his other half if such a thing exists.

It helps that Felix is as touchy as him, if not more. It’s said that there are different languages of love, and both of them are surely the type that share through touch as much as through words. They hug a lot and cuddle a lot, not caring about the place or instance. If they feel the urge, they know they can just lean on each other, and not one nor the other will find it weird. That’s just how their friendship is.

Friendship. Lately Chan has been thinking a lot about their _friendship_. Thinking as in: he wished they had more. He didn’t know when it started really, but one day he started to wish for more. He had always found Felix gorgeous, obviously, he wasn’t blind, but at some point the constellation of freckles on his face, the glow on his eyes, the flush on his cheeks, his deep voice and cute laugh… at some point all that started to give Chan butterflies. Maybe it built up slowly inside him only to burst at some point; he wasn’t sure. But one day, Felix said something inconsequential, something he always said, and yet it shook Chan to his core.

He had heard Felix say it a handful of times. It was their thing; they flirted friendly. Chan knew there was no actual feelings of that sort between them, it had actually never occurred to him before that it could ever have that connotation between them. But on that day it had changed. And now he was lost.

Chan could even replay each time they had the interaction without problems. The first time Felix was going through the fridge, shifting everything on his way in search for something when he passed by the living room and saw him almost putting his head into the fridge.

“What do you want, Lix?”, he asked, leaning on the wall.

“You”, Felix closed the fridge and giggled, skipping towards him and biting his exposed arms dramatically.

Chan had giggled as well and hugged him. Then they moved to the living room to watch some show Felix was interested in. Nothing weird, just a bro saying he wanted the presence of the other.

The second time Chan had been on the studio working overtime on some tracks that needed to be perfected - even if everyone said they were already good to go he hadn’t been sure, something felt odd. Felix entered the room and Chan hadn’t even noticed, headphones muffling the sound of the door opening and closing. He jumped in surprise when he felt arms envelope him and took his headphones off to turn around.

“Felix, is there anything you need, bro?”, he rubbed his eyes, trying to push the tiredness away.

“Yes”, he said as he sat sideways on Chan’s lap and put an arm around his shoulder. Chan giggled at his pout but asked anyway.

“What do you want?”, he had asked, hugging Felix tight.

“You”, Felix drawled out, whiny and tired, “Come home?”

Felix had only left that night with Chan, forcing him out of his studio and into his bed when they got to the dorm. Chan felt a bit guilty that his dongsaeng had to look after him like that, but he also felt warm inside knowing he was cared for so much.

The third time Felix was baking brownies with a hyper crowd around him, the dorm full and all the boys excited for Felix’s treats when Chan arrived from the gym. Chan greeted everyone and headed to the shower and then to his room, opting to stay on his bed and rest instead of joining the mess that were his friends on the kitchen.

Later there was a knock on the door and when he looked up there was Felix, peeking his head inside.

“Hey, ‘Lix, what do you want, mate?”, Chan had asked.

“You”, Felix giggled and opened the door more so he could stand fully inside, “Can I?”

Chan moved closer to the wall, opening space for him and lifted the covers. Felix beamed and whoever’s heart didn’t warm up while seeing Felix smile was probably dead inside. It was just that cute and bright.

Maybe the fact he hadn’t need to ask what Felix meant by that should’ve raised some warnings in his head that something was cooking inside him. Maybe the way his stomach flipped or the smile he couldn’t contain even as tired as he was should’ve told him things were changing. But no, that was how he and Felix were; like hand in glove - there was nothing different.

Only that had been the first time Felix had asked to cuddle him without anything to distract them. It was the first time they had fallen asleep on each other’s arms without being in a cuddle pile on the living room, and the first time Chan had slept so well in a long _long_ time.

The fourth time Chan was on a changing room getting ready for a performance. He was very angry because of some set backs and the other members had made themselves scarce to avoid his bad mood. It didn’t help they’d be the last to perform, the anxiety of the wait only serving to turn his temper even sourer.

Felix, ever the sunshine, soon appeared by the door, looking unsure, but ready to fix his mood. He had that look Chan could only describe as “resolute” as he walked to him and hugged him tight.

“Hey, bro, things will work out fine, don’t worry, the noonas have fixed everything”, he pulled back but kept his hands holding Chan’s upper arms.

“Yeah, I know. I’m just mad things got so out of hand. Things like this can’t happen. The noonas won’t always be able to fix things on the last minute”, he sighed, “but I’m fine.”

Felix smiled again and really, Chan should have noticed by then that something was going on. The way his anger melted away instantly was not normal. There was no one but Felix that could calm him down with barely any words.

“Thank you for coming here just for this. Or is there anything you want?”, Chan asked out of habit.

“I want you”, Felix answered as he had all those times before. This time there were no giggles, no tiredness, only a fond smile that Chan wanted to put on his pocket to take with him everywhere, just so he could find peace whenever he needed it.

The fifth time Felix was curled up on his bed. Chan got home to murmurs, which was very odd on its own. Everyone but Felix was in the living room talking in rushed whispered voices, the weirdest thing Chan had ever seen in his life, for sure. They were eight boys, there was not a single quiet day, not even when some of them weren’t there. Hyunjin and Jisung were enough to make the place lively enough.

“What’s going on?”, he dropped his gym bag and stood in front of the crowded couch.

“Felix”, Minho said first in a quiet voice. That was enough to drain Chan’s blood from his face. “What about him?”

“He had a live today and he thinks he messed up his singing”, Changbin explained, “he has been crying ever since…”

Chan looked at their faces one by one. “Well, and did any of you try to talk to him?”

“Obviously”, Hyunjin huffed, “we tried telling him he didn’t mess up - ‘cause he didn’t, it was ok - but he’s having a break down”, he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t think he’ll listen to anyone but you, hyung”, Jisung added, “If it’s you he’ll listen.”

Chan nodded. He was sure Felix hadn’t messed up anything, but he had been insecure about his singing before, so Chan decided it was best if he watched the live before talking to him. It’d be best to be honest with him than just say everything was fine.

As he watched the video he noticed where Felix struggled to keep the high pitch, always the most difficult parts for him. Felix’s voice was amazing, he not only had a deep voice, but could sustain and work the notes in lower pitches in a way that was not easy, especially while dancing. Not only that, he had taken into working higher pitches as well. Felix was so hard working, it broke Chan’s heart knowing he wasn’t seeing the results of his efforts like the rest of them and STAY had.

He quietly sat on the bed next to a sniffling ball of blankets.

“Hey, ‘Lix”, he called and the sniffling stopped. Felix uncovered himself and turned around to face Chan, not bothering to sit down. He didn’t say anything, just looked at Chan, so he continued. “The guys said you’re not satisfied with your live, do you mind telling me what bothered you so much?”, he brushed a rogue strand of hair from Felix’s face.

“I-“,his voice failed, “My voice just… doesn’t do what I want it to do, it’s so frustrating!”, Felix cried.

Chan laced their hands and petted his head. “Hey, you’re working hard and I see so much improvement in your singing, ok? You did great and I mean it! You know I wouldn’t lie, right?”, he smiled.

Felix nodded and brushed his eyes with the back of his hand. “You really think I did ok? That I’m getting better?”

“Yes, I do. You’re doing great, don’t be so harsh on yourself, promise?”, he smiled dearly at him and Felix back at him, nodding his head in agreement.

They stayed like that for who knows how long, just looking into each other’s eyes while Chan caressed the back of Felix’s hand with his thumb. He eventually scooted over to give Chan space to lie beside him and Chan hugged him in his typical bear embrace.

“Feeling better?”, he asked softly.

“Yeah, much better, thank you, hyung”, Felix detached himself slightly to look at him and smiled. Chan could swear there were stars in his eyes, or maybe he was just that much in love with Felix. It downed on him in one go, that he had been slowly falling for him and hadn’t even noticed. He had always considered himself perceptive, but apparently he was not. He had been gravitating to Felix like moths to the light and, much like them, only noticed how hot it was when he got too close, already entrapped by his warmth. He just hoped he wouldn’t burn in Felix’s light.

“Chan?”, Felix tore him away from his epiphany. Chan smiled at him, wondering if it was any different from all the other smiles he had directed at him.

“Is there anything you want, Felix?”, he felt the strain in his voice even as he whispered the words, as if they were now forbidden with how his intentions had shifted.

Felix shuffled closer, so close Chan could feel his minty breath on his face. Close enough that his field of view was reduced to Felix’s eyes and freckles. Close enough it would just take the slightest of moves for him to close the gap between them.

“I want you”, Felix’s whisper dug deep and resounded in Chan’s core. He let out a shaky breath, searched his eyes for something, anything that could indicate that it was real. That it was really happening.

Felix never closed the gap, neither did he. He couldn’t know if Felix wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to, so he didn’t dare. He cursed his shy nature; he could’ve just asked. But now it was too late, the perfect timing had passed and he found himself moping around the dorm with nothing but thoughts of Felix.

The others seemed to notice he was more distant. Some had asked if everything was fine. And well, things were fine, really. Nothing had actually happened. But inside him there was a storm raging, begging him to do something; not that he’d tell them about that.

As the days passed since the incident, Chan started to lose his already precarious sleep to his dreaming awake about Felix’s lips on his. It started to affect his concentration during performances and practice. There was just no way to keep his eyes from Felix. Everything reminded him of Felix, like in a mocking frequency bias phenomenon, in which things that were not even remotely related to the boy made his mind shift to him.

Chan’s awkward behaviour boiled to the point where he was now; sitting on his bed with Felix standing in front of him, questioning what was wrong.

“I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong”, he lied. Chan was a very bad lier, his ears always turned red and outed him.

“Your ears are red”, Felix sighed. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I-“, he faltered, “there isn’t anything that I should worry you about. Really, I’m fine”, he tried a smile, but even he could tell he failed miserably.

“Chan, I know you feel responsible for us because you’re the leader, but you can rely on us as well…”, Felix kneeled in front of him and took his hands. “You haven’t slept more than three hours in more than a week; that’s odd even for you.”

“I’m just stressed with a track, I’ll be fine”, he tried again.

“Your ears are red”, Felix whined. “Do you prefer to talk to someone else? If it’s something you can’t share with me…”

“No! No…”, Chan sighed. Maybe he should just tell Felix. But how?

He looked at Felix and saw the same stars he always saw in his eyes, but now they were tainted by tears that he caused because he was stupid and fell in love. They rearranged themselves to lie on the bed, blankets around them much like that night.

Felix turned to face him. “Is it because of the other night?”

Chan blushed and tried to shake his head, but Felix was far too perceptive not to notice he had hit the nail. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable I’m sor-“

“Don’t say you’re sorry…”, he looked at Felix with glassy eyes, “please. Don’t say it.”

Felix searched his eyes for something, anything that could indicate that it was real. That it was really happening. They both let out a shaky breath.

“Is there anything you want, Felix?”, Chan whispered, felt the strain on his voice for what seemed like the thousandth time.

Felix smiled and shuffled closer to him, enough for Chan to feel his hot minty breath on his face and Felix’s eyes and freckles to take his full field of view. Close enough that one word would be enough to close the gap.

“I want you”, Felix smiled.

Chan sighed when his lips brushed against Felix’s and the boy hooked his arms around his neck, holding him tight. Felix didn’t let him go; not until they were breathless and panting onto each other’s mouths and the heat of their bodies pressed together made Chan kick the blankets out of the bed. Not until Chan flipped then and caged Felix under him and kissed him harder.

“I want you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments feed the author. The author is hungry.
> 
> **Don’t repost this anywhere without my explicit permission, please and thanks.**
> 
> You can also find me on tt and cc.


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